Category Archives: positive

Just Breathe!

kids, positive, stress relievers, Uncategorized,

Do you have a child that has HUGE EMOTIONS??

Jake

I do. Meet Jake.

He was a force to be reckoned with before he even arrived. This kid had me sweating and put on bedrest at 28 weeks. After he arrived he was what some label a “Dragon Baby” where he spent day and night crying and screaming.

Early on I realized Jake suffers with anxiety. I often wonder can a child have anxiety even before they are born because after having a colic child where there was never any answers to “why is he crying ALL. THE. TIME.?!” I feel he was born with it.

I carried him in my arms, swaying/bouncing him and making soothing sounds for so long that I still catch myself swaying out of habit. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do but it was all that calmed him and allowed me to survive … being close to me calmed him then and it still does.

He still has “feelings” as Jake refers to it. Before he goes to school or if he knows I am working away from home are a couple examples of when. It consumes him some nights where he can’t sleep… these “feelings” take over and he becomes overwhelmed.

At nearly 8 years old he is a wise ol’ owl with a talent to entertain, tell stories make jokes and argue that he is right like his life depends on it. He is loud, he is passionate, He is one of a kind! For those of you who know Jake can fully understand what I am talking about. He still makes me sweat, he still makes me to lean into all my “tools” to help manage stress, he still leaves me wanting to pull my hair out.

As a parent it can be exhausting… not to mention I have 3 more kids with needs, wants and different personalities that need their Mom as well. I have had my share of freakouts that left me feeling guilt and shame. Embarrassed at how I REACTED rather then RESPONDING with love. I have laid in bed at night feeling like a failure… letting those voices creep in telling me how “I am not cut out for this! I am not a good Mom! They deserve better!”

Over the years I have realized the connection between stress and self regulation. Learning into my own practice has allowed me to see the importance in providing the kids with these same tools that I myself need so badly. Things like movement, mindset, perspective, gratitude all keep me in a good headspace to manage stress and keep me moving forward.

I started to build these habits with the kids. I have been teaching my kids about self-regulation and recognizing what they are feeling. Communicating their feelings in a healthy way rather then screaming and fighting. DISCLAIMER: THEY STILL FIGHT AND ARGUE AND HAVE FITS. It is in those times, if I can grab hold of my own urge to react (power in the pause) and take those moments to use as a teaching moment then I feel like I win and they gain another brick in their foundation of life.

Their is a POWER IN THE PAUSE!! This will have to be another post for another time!

Just today Jake was upstairs playing a video game. Now, I am trying to give the kids freedoms and privileges … my kids say, “all the other kids do it!” And I honestly am okay with a little screen time. I am a believer that life is about balance!

However, when the screaming, crying and fist come out! HECK NO!! It’s done!

Jake had this experience today… he was losing his cool big time! Like I explained earlier, he has HUGE EMOTIONS– good and bad ones! So when he started having a fit he was called down and we had a team meeting with all three boys who were playing together to figure out what was happening. I knew ultimately what happened but I want to sit everyone down to talk about it and have an opportunity to share their side of the story.

After all was said, Jake was extremely over stimulated and had way to much time playing a game really hypes him up. Sensory overload mixed with his need (self pressure) to be better than his siblings resulted in him going into a full blown freakout.

The older boys were told to leave. I didn’t speak to Jake right away. I laid out our “Mindful MInute Mat” lit some sage, put out some essential oils along with my book of breathing exercises. without saying anything Jake sat on the mat and immediately had a shift in energy.

He picked the oil, he started flipping thru the breathing options and he began to calm himself.

After, he was fully relaxed we talked. We hugged. He Understood.

This is real life. This works.

My family is no different than yours. I am no different of a parent than you.

It seems “weird” in the beginning to sit and focus on your breathing when you are feeling angry or sad or overwhelmed. However, until you get yourself and/or your kids in a place of “calm” then there is no way they can understand the lesson you are teaching them. There is no way you can see things from their perspective if you are a Mom feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

I promise it gets better…. JUST BREATHE!!

~L

I’M PREGNANT!! Now What…Can I Exercise??

attitudes, exercise, Happiness, healthy, kids, Life, positive, pregnancy, , , ,

being fit during pregnancy
7 Months Pregnant- My Boys and I 🙂

Pre-pregnancy most people have goals and visions that they are working towards…  Tighter Thighs… Trimmer Tummies; They hit the gyms or join fitness groups like “yummy mummy” or  “Better Butts” or “Abs, Ass and Arms”!  Its about transforming the body to look and feel a certain way, to be faster, better, stronger..  healthier… Right?  Thats all wonderful! So what happens when you move from that mindset to “I’M PREGNANT!!!”  Do you just stop working out due to fear that you will hurt the baby?  Do you keep rocking those workouts at maximum intensity??  Are you slamming the baby around inside belly if you run on the treadmill??  Its scary for some people to think that you can still exercise when you are pregnant as it may harm the little “bun in your oven”. It’s relatively new for women to be encouraged to exercise during there pregnancy and in the last three decades guidelines has changed tremendously and these studies are showing that women and babies are much healthier and happier when fitness is maintained during the wonderful months of pregnancy.  According to Canadian Academy of Sports Medicine “research supports the recommendation that a moderate level of exercise on a regular basis during a low risk pregnancy has minimal risk for the fetus and beneficial metabolic and cardio respiratory effects for the exercising woman.”  In fact, pregnancy often triggers women to be more conscience of their health and lifestyle choices.  Thoughts on pregnancy are much more positive and being pregnant does not mean you have a disease or disability.  Your life do not have to change dramatically if you are a low risk healthy woman. As a Personal Trainer, Athlete and Momma of 2 (Almost 3… currently 7months pregnant with Little Boy #3) I feel first hand the effects of exercise during pregnancy.  I believe in eating well and exercising on a regular basis.  So when I get pregnant its never a question of “should I or should I not?” … its okay “now I am exercising differently!”  By differently I mean with the thought that I want to be healthy and strong for my baby as well as myself.  I move form being in competition mode to being in “mommy mode”. You do not need to focus on gaining weight or getting “FAT” (I don’t like that word) because you are going to grow your body is going to change and its all because there is a precious little miracle growing inside you.  So DO NOT think of it as a negative thing instead think of it as a 10month period of maintaining strength and conditions and preparing for a big event at the end of the ten months.  Anyone who knows me knows this is my mentality when it comes to labour… its a race and I will be strong both mentally and physically… I have to prepare! If your wondering “where do I start?” I have created a list of some simple guidelines that I have been following throughout my pregnancy: 1. Avoid Crappy Carbs & Sugary/Salty Foods – These types of foods poison your body and do not provide any nutrition for your baby or fuel your body! 2. Eat Healthy Fats and Protein- Eating healthy clean foods that will  help you feel so much more energized!  Don’t be afraid of healthy fats… your body needs them. 3. WATER!!!! – Has anyone every heard me mention the importance of water ?? *insert sarcasm* … Water has so many benefits including fighting fatigue, aiding in digestion and flushing out toxins.  Drinking it will help you fight a lot of those pesky pregger symptoms. 4. Rest & Sleep- This is a must… your body is working in overdrive to grow a little human.  If you are exercising you need to allow proper rest and lots of sleep! 5. Do Exercise that You Enjoy- Pregnancy is not a time to force yourself to do exercise you don’t like.  Keep it simple and what you love. 6. Lift to Strengthen – Just because you are pregnant does not mean you can’t strength train.  Keep your weights lighter and add some reps.  Muscles are are great addition to your ammo on delivery day 😉 7. Wear Clothes that Feels Good- This is a big one for me!  If I am not wearing something to support my growing belly or is uncomfortable it ruins my workout!  Wear what makes you feel good! 8. Listen To Your Body – This is the most IMPORTANT point you can ever listen to.  Your body knows when you need a break or less intensity so just listen.  If your tired.. rest!  If your thirsty… drink water!  If your hot… take a break and cool your body down!    Its not worth risking harm to your baby or yourself so always listen to your body 🙂 These are just somethings I do to keep the my fitness simple and fun during pregnancy.  As well, start exercising before pregnancy to already have yourself ready to transition. Exercise is such a positive thing to add to you life… don’t wait!  Just get up and Move… Let me know what exercising adds to your life!!   **Talk to your doctor to be sure its okay for you to exercise during your pregnancy.** Exercise truly will make your pregnancy much more enjoyable! CHEERS!! ~L

7 Months Strong ;)
7 Months Strong 😉

“Soft”… You Could Be Called Worse!!!

attitudes, bullies, Happiness, kids, Life, positive, , , ,

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Have you ever been called “overly sensitive” or “soft”?  Why is it that it comes with a negative connotation?

Too many people hurt and insult others not because the person deserves to be insulted but its often a way to make themselves feel better about who they actually are. They feel threatened by a person who is kind and loving and sensitive towards other people because they are not.

If you are a kind, caring and thoughtful person with a soft heart fight to keep it. Do not let the negative thoughts of others keep you from being you. You are not weak or “overly sensitive” you are strong!  The world needs more love and less hate.  People should focus less on judgements of good people and more on fixing the reasons they feel it necessary to focus on someone else’s life.

Don’t let someone make you feel like your pure heart is a sign of weakness…  Stay true to who you are… it makes you brave.  We all need to be less hateful, less jealous, less resentful, less vengeful!  We need to spread love, kindness, happiness and compassion.

Think about what you are showing your children.  Do you want more bullying and cruelty in your child’s life or would you rather your child go to school and feel safe and happy to be who they are??  Kids are products of their environment and we see it so often the effects of the poor attitudes of parents and how it spills over.

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There are bullies not only around our children but there are equally as many ADULT BULLIES!   Its time for people to see that being “soft” is a great thing!!  More people should spread the “softness” instead of poison others lives with their toxic attitudes and judgements!

 

Happy Friday!!!

Saying “hello” and giving a smile is so EASY and can be really IMPORTANT to someone who is having a crummy day. It may help them switch their “state”!

Heres the result of my paying it forward today:

I was just at a store with my kids and said “Hello, how are you?” to the sales rep that was there and made some small talk about the weather. After a few minutes the sales rep said “Do you mind if I give your kids a treat?” I told him “No not at all, Thanks so much!!” … He let the kids pick out a snack of their choice!!! How nice was that…?? Sometimes when you see someone that may be having a bad day… simply try to brighten their day with a smile and a “Hello!”

I practice “paying it forward” everyday… its a very powerful practice and so simple!!

Hope you all are the victims of the people who pay it forward… and if you are don’t forget to keep it going!! 🙂

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